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A man writes on Reddit that his parents are demanding they get a say in naming their grandchildren
By
Virginia Chamlee
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/IMG_4737-8b5b28d8b0e4469cbec8fe71e041ff12.jpeg "Man Tells Parents Their Opinion 'Does Not Matter' When It Comes to What He Names His Child, Lets Wife Do It Alone (1)")
Virginia Chamlee
Virginia Chamlee is a Politics Writer at PEOPLE. She has been working at PEOPLE for three years. Her work has previously appeared in The Washington Post, Buzzfeed, Eater, and other outlets.
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Published on March 31, 2025 11:41AM EDT
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(705x401:707x403):format(webp)/man-arguing-with-parents-121724-2b3556119dd64072a5340bc20935306b.jpg "Man Tells Parents Their Opinion 'Does Not Matter' When It Comes to What He Names His Child, Lets Wife Do It Alone (2)")
A man says his parents are upset that he and his wife have opted not to give their children family names, writing in a Reddit post that his wife is naming their children herself.
"My parents are upset because my wife's and my children will not be given family names or some variation of names already in the family," he writes, adding that using family names has long been a tradition among his siblings and cousins.
He continues: "My wife and I are not doing this and I have given my wife the ability to make the choice of what to name our kids. I have my reasons and this is a gift I'm giving her because I know she's got names she has loved for a long time and would like to use."
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:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(1061x0:1063x2):format(webp)/iStock-696314732-5a25bc6eda27150037cb32de.jpg "Man Tells Parents Their Opinion 'Does Not Matter' When It Comes to What He Names His Child, Lets Wife Do It Alone (3)")
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The poster adds that since his children will get his last name, which he and his wife now share after getting married, it only feels fair for her to select the children's first names.
"My parents don't know the names are her decision. But they did blame her for us not continuing with family names," he writes. "I stepped in and told them to cut it out and blame me because it was my decision."
Due to pushback from his family, the man writes that he is now considering some serious boundaries.
"The only reason I told them before my wife gives birth is so I know whether they need to be kept away when baby is born. They would say something negative right after delivery if that's when they realize we've used a non family name," he writes.
His parents are now trying to convince his wife that they should get a say in the naming, as they are "the grandparents, after all," he writes.
"I told them their opinion doesn't matter when it comes to what we name our kids," he adds. "They told me it's wrong to deny someone their opinion. I said they can have it but they need to keep it to themselves."
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Commenters on the post are applauding the man for standing up to his parents.
"You are a star husband- this is the right way to handle it," wrote one. "Your parents will probably only learn through escalating timeouts - eg. no contact for a day, then a week, then a month, etc."
Added another: "It’s your child and you and your wife should have the final say in naming them your parents need to respect that."
